PrussiaxReader Guardian Angel Chapter 5

Guardian Angel Chapter 5

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It took two months before anything changed... Gilbert visited my grave everyday and the signs on the high... He renewed the blood that wrote on them every day so that it never faded... I followed him the entire time... Helplessly watching him wither away inside... Everyday he died a little more... Gil hardly ever ate... And other than visiting my grave he spent his days locked in his room without the lights on and the curtains closed...

Two months of that before Ludwig came in and told him he needed to come to a world meeting next week. Gilbert didn't respond for a good 4 minutes... letting the silence comfort him...

"Ja... Okay..." He said and Ludwig left the room... Gil cried yet again after crying everyday    for two months of death... To Gilbert this was worse than being on the front lines in war... I could tell by the way he thought nothing... The way he didn't care about anything... It was painful to just stand there since I couldn't get close... His depression and anxiety had made the force field grow... And all this grieving was pushing me farther away from him...

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The day of the conference came and Gil was just a zombie... Doing nothing... Saying nothing... Thinking nothing... But what the strangest part was was Arthur Kirkland kept staring over at Gilbert. I naturally stood next to him trying to find away to talk to him but to no avail...

=========== (Flashback) ================

The whole conference was eerily quiet... Just like always almost nothing got done... But this time because no one was arguing... They all stayed silent staring at their feet like doing so would change anything... The only one who didn't stare at their shoes the entire time was Arthur... The whole time he stared at Gilbert... And after the meeting when everyone dispersed Arthur caught Ludwig and Gil in the hallway...

"Hey, Gilbert..." The hall was empty except for us so they just turned and spoke awkwardly in the middle...

"I know you think I'm nuts for saying faeries are real but... I can also see ghosts and you have one following you... I think you know who it is..." Arthur said before walking away. Gilbert looked like a deer caught in the middle of the road. Ludwig stood there then put his hand on Gil's shoulder saying

"Go talk to him, Bruder..." before leaving. And then for the first time since my death Gil had a thought displayed over his head saying

"_________'s... following me?..." He then took off running after Arthur. A perk to being dead is that I float now so it was easy keeping up with. It just feels as though I'm running without getting winded.

When Gilbert caught up to Arthur in the parking lot he was talking to Alfred.

"HEY!!!... Arthur!!" Gil shouted as he ran up to him. Arthur turned to him as Alfred walked away so they could talk.

"Did you mean __________'s been following me all this time!?" Gilbert said while leaning on his knees to catch his breathe. It must have been a longer run than I thought, otherwise why else would he be winded?

"Well... I first saw her at the funeral but dismissed it thinking my mind was playing tricks on me... But when she was standing next to you all meeting I knew I wasn't hallucinating." Arthur said as Gil straightened out, breathing normally again.

"But... Vhy vould she do that?..." Gil asked still dazed from the fact that I've been following him.

"She's probably worried about you... You haven't exactly been like good old Gilbert Beilschmidt." Arthur said folding his arms. At this point I wanted to know if Arthur could hear me too.

"Hey Arthur? Can you hear me by any chance?" I asked timidly.

"... Yes I can hear you, __________... Mind telling me why you're following Gil around?" Arthur asked while Gilbert had the best "What the Freak!?" look on his face.

"... His depression has made a force field around him blocking me from giving him comfort... And I'm worried about his mental health... In this world I can read people's thoughts as they happen and Gilbert hasn't had one in two months..." I tell him while looking to Gilbert who's just looking at Arthur like he's Ivan in a Panda suit.

"Oh... Well that's definitely a problem... Ummm... Gilbert? H-Have you been having any thoughts recently on... anything really?" Arthur asked looking back to Gilbert, just to be sure I was right.

"Ah... Vell... It feels as though I'm stuck on pause in my life..." Gilbert said scratching the back of his head.

"Well that'll explain that... So is there anything I can do to help, _________?" Arthur asked turning back to me. I thought for a second before saying

"Tell Gil that if he keeps wishing for the pain to go away I'll never be able to reach him. By wishing the pain gone or that it never started he's wishing that we'd either never met or that I'd leave him be so he can escalate into thoughts of suicide..." I told him while thinking back to the few thoughts he had... they mostly consisted of "_________, I miss you..." And "Why can't this pain just leave?..."

"...Alright... I'll do that..." Arthur said before turning to a very confused Gilbert who's thinking "What the heck is wrong with this guy?..."

"Gilbert,... ___________ says that you need to stop wishing the pain away... By doing so you're keeping her from being able to comfort you..."

"... Vhat? Hov is she supposed to comfort me if she's dead?" Gilbert asked looking more confused than ever.

"Beats me. But I think she knows what she's talking about." Arthur says before leaving...

========== (End Flashback) ===========

That night Gilbert went to bed early with his thoughts racing. Mostly consisting of

"She's been following me all this time because why? What's the point? She can't do much now that she's dead so why? I know I love her and wish she wasn't dead but... What's the point of sticking around when she can just go back to heaven from wince she came?..."

I really wanted to tell him

"It's because I love you, you depressing idiot!!! And I have too many things to say to you before I leave!!!!!!!"

Then the strangest thing in history happened...

========== (Flashback) =============

Gilbert was thinking just before he fell asleep

"Maybe I should talk to her..." And then he talked to me even though he felt like he was talking to himself.

"__________?... I'm still not sure if you're there... But if you are... I can't help vishing you veren't dead and that this pain vasn't here... But if I could talk to you just one last time... I'd be villing to do vhatever you told me to... So i-if there's a vay ve can talk... I'd like to... Because I never really got the chance to say I love you..." He side and then fell asleep... I walked to the side of his bed decided to try the force field again...

I shakily reached out and was able to pass though the emotion barrier... I continued to reach down and set my hand on his shoulder. And doing so took me into his dream. The next thing I knew I was standing in front of Gilbert in the middle of a never ending black room... His shadow was white and I didn't have one but I was happy... Because he was staring at me in disbelief...

"_-________?..." He asked shocked that I was there.

"Hey, Gil..." I said with a smile. He then reached out and hugged me. it was strange because I couldn't feel him but he was indeed touching me...

"This is so strange... I can't feel you even though I'm touching you..." Gilbert said with a pained emotion behind each word. I hugged him back even though he can't feel it and said

"That's 'cause I'm dead..." I pulled away a little bit to look at his face before continuing...

"But I needed to tell you somethings before they got worse... Gil I know it hurts but I'm not going to truly leave you. Just because I'm not there physically I am spiritually... And I always will be... But you need to do a few things before you can feel at peace. Yes, it will take time. But not forever..." backed up so we weren't "hugging" anymore before saying

"Now, I need you to first... Go accept that kid's apology for the car accident. He's not going to feel better until you do... And I don't mean just sit there let him and then say you forgive him... I need you to smile at him, let him know that everything's all right, and give him the relief of the pain of guilt that he's feeling... Just as I am to you right now... Second, you need to drag your butt out of bed and start doing your job that you promised Ludwig you'd do. Just 'cause I'm not there doesn't mean the world has ended... Thirdly,... You need to let go... I'll still be there for you no matter what but... You can't let this hold you back from doing that which you brought me... Your smile makes people happy and that's what you brought me... Eternal joy... I wouldn't trade the time I spent with you for anything. Even for the pain to leave... I wish i was still alive too since I didn't get to live out my life like I wanted but there's nothing I can do now... So go bring the awesome back to the world." I finish, smiling...

=========== (End Flashback) =============

And with that I left his dream and watched him come to peace within himself... Although, while I was leaving his dream he begged me not to go... So he did cry some more... But that morning after going through the hardest night of his life...

"All right, __________... I'll perform your last wish... Which you were kind enough to give to me..."

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